Human evolution

Gender Neutral Human Beings

by Kaiven Fenton M.S.

Being and expressing who you naturally are, ought to be a right. For the majority of people it is, but a there is a minority that do not have that freedom. The reason for that is six words, among them, “man,” “masculine” and “woman,” “feminine.” I believe these words or labels were erroneously defined initially by connecting them to a particular human gender/sex. Those labels indicate specific traits, abilities, characteristics, talents, gifts and attributes that either males or females should have, possess, or express, according to long established cultural and societal norms and beliefs. Females who express themselves in a “masculine” manner or conversely males who express themselves in a “feminine” manner are and always have been, at risk of ridicule, abuse and often death.

Most humans are born with either male or female genitalia, and world wide, 2% of humans are born with both. Gender on the other hand, according to my dictionary, is “Either of the two sexes, especially when considered with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones.” Regardless of our genitalia, (physical sex “assigned at birth,”) those social and cultural differences include our natural characteristics, traits, talents, skills, attributes and abilities we are born with and that I call natural.

Things like being brave or cowardly, emotionally strong or weak and attitudes and life outlooks which are either learned or developed growing up, have nothing to do with what our genitalia is, nor do internal or external characteristics, traits, talents, skills, attributes or abilities. They have everything to do with the beliefs of society and our culture who has believed for centuries that they definitely do belong exclusively to one gender or the other. Therein lies the greatest error of all time, still causing the greatest harm to many millions of innocent people.

We continue to call plants and animals male and female. But humans became labeled and connected to the characteristics, traits, talents, skills etc. strongly assumed to belong to their body gender.. Female became associated with “woman,” “girl” and “feminine” and male became associated with “boy,” “man” and “masculine.” “Man” originally referred to both sexes. Then the label for a female human was created which was wif at first, then became wo man. Over time, these traits, characteristics and roles, initially undisputed, were carried on throughout the centuries as if they were true and reliable. Ask yourself why you must know the gender of a person before beginning a conversation with them. Why do you think it is so significant to know?

It all began eons ago when a few men, the originators of the labels and their definitions, erroneously attached them to the characteristics, traits, qualities, attributes, talents, skills and roles that they probably noticed in other people. Perhaps many males and females fit the labels as they defined them then, or the men believed that if they didn’t fit them, they should. For instance females should be meek, submissive and serve males and males should be strong, courageous and protect females. Husbands could legally beat their wives as long as the rod they beat them with, was no larger than his thumb. It stated so in the Bible which was their legal reference point at the time. 

Nevertheless, societal roles and laws were developed and enforced by the males of that time, (females didn’t enforce laws) and have continued to the present time. It was males who originated at least six erroneous labels, “masculine, feminine, man, woman, boy and girl.” It was not of much concern to these males if all females and all males did not meet their restrictive and sexist labels. They made laws that forced people into their distorted view of what males and females should or ought to be. Because we follow them to this day, maybe not as strictly, but many are still abused, beaten and tortured because of the absolute falseness of the labels themselves. 

These labels easily became material or fodder for harassment, cruel treatment and death, sometimes legally, by and from society in general. People who thoroughly believe in those mis-defined labels, usually feel quite justified in their abusive behavior towards innocent people still, even though there is much evidence now of the labels being erroneous. If, on the other hand those words or labels had been neutral, not wrongly ascribed to a particular sex or gender (untied to gender,) those cultural meanings would not have been harmful.

As time passed, more and more males have not met the “masculine” definitions or roles of a “man.” In the latter part of the 20th century this has caused many males to ask the question openly, “What is a man?” Groups of males formed “men’s” groups and went off into the woods to discuss that question in depth. 

Now, many individuals have begun to realize that the terms or labels “masculine,” “feminine,” “man,” “woman,” “boy” and “girl” do not correctly defined all people, only a majority, maybe. As a result of course, any child or adult, whose natural inborn attributes do not conform to, or match the cultural norms of the day, has had to hide them internally whenever possible. That is not only stressful, but many, males especially, have not been able to hide them, so are wrongly assumed to be “acting feminine” or are wrongly assumed to be transgender, gay, or worse, a defective human being. Many are still relentlessly harassed, tortured, commit suicide or are killed. Any school that has asked kids in a pole, why they don’t go to school will prove this point. Often a young male will commit suicide because of no emotional support available, or a place to go to for help with the emotional torture often dished out daily. 

Women and girls suffer mostly emotional abuse and disrespect from men, but keep it inside. Of course many in each gender grow up believing they are flawed and defective as human beings or basically the scum of the earth, unless they have a mentor or someone telling them otherwise. In the Native American culture these mislabeled mostly males, mean just the opposite. They were called “two spirited” and were respected, revered and sought after for their knowledge and wisdom. They were sought for having both aspects of the male and female nature which was highly regarded. 

With the population growing in leaps and bounds there are, of course, many more males and females whose natural talents, characteristics, gifts, skills and abilities do not meet the strict sexist cultural norms of the past that still exist today. If these 21st century societal norms could speak, they’d ask, what now? Do we just fade away, or become more strict and more punishing? Well of course we know it won’t be the latter. The growing numbers of former “misfits” and potential misfits are coming out of their respective closets and demanding respect for their natural and inborn attributes. They are beginning to feel like they now have a right to be and express their natural selves, without the constant threat of harassment, abuse or death. 

Many young people are beginning to recognize the erroneousness of the labels. If they have support they are disregarding the labels and being who they are, regardless of what the labels imply. That is a start, Some people are still subject to ridicule, abuse and suicide when they attempt to ignore the labels and be who they naturally are. They still do not have the right socially because of the erroneous labels. Thousands, maybe millions still suffer at the hands of those who want to honor the old, but getting stale, cultural norms of “men” equals “masculine” for males no matter what, and “woman” equals “feminine” for females no matter what. (male=man=masculine and female=woman=feminine) 

The abuse stems from beliefs of religious teachings from eons ago. Those “religious” people want to continue honoring what “God said” about subscribing to the ancient cultural norms. Also children growing up being taught to hate are also the abusers. They have beliefs that males and females are deliberately non-conforming, or are deliberately rebelling against the cultural norms for their gender. However, they are totally unaware of the real facts, which is that personal abilities, traits, characteristics, attributes, etc., are inborn and natural for every human being on the planet, regardless of their genitals.

This has been my experience as one of the “misfits” for over sixty years of adult life already. My talents, abilities, gifts, characteristics, gifts and skills are and have been, identical to many males, yet I am a female. I have experienced many condescending and cruel remarks from men and others, for my natural characteristics, traits, etc. I have also been called un-“womanly” in a condescending manner for expressing or being my natural self, which is culturally considered more “manly” than “womanly.”

I believe society as a whole, ought to allow all people to be and express who they naturally are, whether it matches their birth sex or not. As a solution, we can leave “masculine and “feminine” labels totally alone. Eliminate them all together and invent totally neutral non-gendered labels, like “apple and orange” to describe a person’s characteristics, talents, traits, attributes, gifts and abilities, instead of using “masculine” and “feminine.” Using “orange” or some other neutral label, to describe formerly “feminine” traits, abilities, characteristics etc. and “apple” or some other neutral label, to describe formerly “masculine” traits, abilities, characteristics, etc.

In addition we can begin using male and female instead of “man” and “woman” and young male and young female instead of boy and girl, unless boy and girl can be somehow be turned into non-gendered labels. Shehe, all one word, could mean either or both a male or a female. Young shehe could refer to a male or female child. Various labels are popping up nowadays, so this is my contribution.

With no gender connection to a person’s natural traits and attributes, there will be absolutely no excuse for anyone to ever abuse, harass or kill someone for having or expressing “orange” or “apple” characteristics, traits, gifts, abilities, etc. No cultural norm, for males and females will exist, to be “honored.” Anyone’s talents, characteristics and skills would be respected regardless of what sex/gender they were. This would eliminate the cultural violence problem altogether.

Over a span of a few centuries, the old cultural norm erroneous definitions of “masculine” and “feminine” will have died out forever, replaced by more neutral ones and “men” and “women” will die out by using more accurate male and female. With the labels gone or neutralized, people will finally be free to express themselves fully as they were naturally born to be, plusfeel respected in the process. Everyone can then be culturally gender neutral, with no characteristics, talents, skills, gifts or traits culturally designated by birth genitalia.

With that accomplished there will be liberation for many millions who now have to hide and restrict our natural selves for fear of societal retribution for having the “wrong” characteristics, talents, attributes, traits, abilities or gifts for the body sex. It brings tears to my eyes at only the thought of being able to live with a cultural freedom to express my natural talents, skills and abilities I was born with, freely and openly without being humiliated, condescended to, or made fun of for doing so. 

Freedom to be me…wow what a concept! I will probably not live long enough to experience this freedom, but I know other younger “misfits” might. However, it could take another couple of centuries for society to evolve and mature enough for all to experience the freedom to be who they are, without retribution. Humans are after all, the youngest life forms on the earth, evolving after plants and animals. We could learn a lot from these predecessors, if we matured a bit more. 

Surgeons, who are now making millions on surgeries to change the physical body to match the erroneous sexist labels, will lose out, of course. By eliminating the sexist labels and developing and using neutral ones, much pain and suffering will be eliminated. In addition, the suffering from hormones and undergoing surgery would also be eliminated. The biggest plus will be in the guarantee of the right to be your natural born self in public, without fear of the threat of abuse, ridicule or death. You and your body are not flawed and defective. Only society is.